Interview with Vicki Johnson, Author of “Molly’s Tuxedo”

Molly’s Tuxedo is a story about gender expression; it focuses not on gender identity - who Molly is - but on what she chooses to wear and how different types of clothing make her feel. Why did you choose to focus this story on gender expression rather than gender identity?

I was drawn to write something that related to very specific experiences that I had and could relate to at Molly’s age, and how I processed those thoughts and feelings. The way I wanted to express myself was certainly grounded in identity and more complex emotions that I grew into over time as I grew up. I tried to relay the depth of  that through the text in that not only did Molly feel that she didn’t look right but she didn’t feel right either. She got emotional over it in front of the mirror. In the end, I also think this somewhat broader view of her story allows more people to relate to her experience.

A central part of the story is the disharmony between Molly and her mom; Molly’s mom wants Molly to wear the dress, and Molly wants to wear the tuxedo. Eventually, Molly’s mom tells Molly that she should wear what feels right to her. What do you think it is that helps Molly’s mom come around - and what can parents of transgender or gender-nonconforming children take away from this example?

I wanted to approach the relationship between Molly and Mom in a way that wasn’t trope-y or stereotypical, thereby allowing caregivers who read this story with their kids an opportunity to feel as empowered as the children who read it. Molly’s mom has her own ideas of what looks nice on Molly, but once she is at school drop off and sees Molly feeling bummed about her predicament, she begins to reflect more deeply on what was happening for her daughter emotionally. I know that most parents – even the most present and progressive – miss things about their kids. I’m a parent and I definitely have! We are busy and have complex lives, too. I wanted it to be an opportunity for parents to see in this story that you can have a course correction, and after taking a breath and digging a bit deeper, see your child more clearly. So what helps Molly’s mom come around is time and being present and practicing a deeper awareness.

When Molly and her mom see the pictures on the computer, Molly’s mom agrees that Molly made the right choice. She says, “You really look like you.” This line is so powerful and impactful in so many ways - it shows that Molly’s mom approves of Molly’s choice, that she trusts her child to know herself best, and that she is willing to adjust her expectations for her child. What does this line mean to you? Did it fall right into place in your writing process, or did it take longer to finalize?

It is the most powerful line for me. I love how Gillian Reid depicted this in her art! I wanted it to be an acknowledgement by the adult of what you can see in Molly’s face in that scene. Molly feels excited and empowered in that moment, and I think Mom feels better in that moment too. As a parent myself, I know it feels good to come to an understanding about your child. You feel better about yourself and your relationship with your child. There is a growth process there that is so important. I can’t remember now how I eventually nailed that line, but when it came to me, I knew that it was the most important one in the book.

What part(s) of Molly’s story stem from your own experience - and what was it like to reflect on those experiences in the context of writing a children’s book?

For sure there is a lot of me in Molly! I liked to borrow my brother’s clothes. I grew up in a traditional, conservative time and place that meant I had to wear dresses for formal events, and I experienced all the discomfort – physical and emotional - that Molly goes through. It was surprisingly easy to tap into those feelings because struggles are seared into our memories, don’t they? I wrote this book in response to seeing the more recent struggles of young people being negatively scrutinized for their clothing choices, so I wanted to think about what it would be like if parents and caregivers handled things differently. It was cathartic to write a story where the child and parent reach an understanding in this way, for sure.

Can you tell us about your project Cabin Reads?

I live in a 200 year-old log cabin, hence the name. I started this project in 2016 as an occasional in-person reading event when I moved to a tiny mountain town because I wanted to find and support a local creative community. During the pandemic, I pivoted to Instagram for a year-long project where I featured lots of amazing kid-lit and comics creators. I started by reaching out to writer friends, then it just expanded from there. They shared their own photos and wrote about how nature – broadly defined – intersected with their creativity. It was an opportunity for us all to think about our attachments to nature, to walking, to companion animals, to plants, to the sky and the ocean, whatever nature meant to them, to photography and art and writing. It occurred to me when I was thinking of the parameters of this project that I walk every day and it seemed like lots of my creative friends do, too. I wanted to explore the meditative element of nature. It’s a universal theme. Cabin Reads is on hiatus for now, but I anticipate doing more in the future. The posts are still up at @cabin.reads on Instagram, so please go check it out!