Interview with Elise Gravel, Author of “Pink, Blue, and You!”

How did you collaborate to create Pink, Blue, and You? How would you describe the process of working together to create it?

I wrote a first draft, which Mykaell offered to read and review. We discussed it together and I modified parts of the manuscript based on Mykaell's ideas and comments.

Many people believe that children are too young to understand the nuances and diversity of gender. Pink, Blue, and You does a beautiful job of providing direct, concrete, and simple ways to engage in conversation with children about it. What would you say to people who think this topic is “inappropriate” for young children? What advice do you have for teachers who experience pushback from parents or administrators when it comes to discussing gender diversity?

I would say that children are already exposed to gender identity, and generally it happens even before they are born, through gender reveal parties, shower presents, nursery decorations, etc. The very first thing that parents learn about their baby, immediately after an ultrasound or right after birth, is their sex. Society focuses enormously on kids' genders. If babies are ready to be gendered based on their sex at birth and to be told about their sex repeatedly, they are probably ready to learn about other genders.

What advice do you have for parents, teachers, and other people who work with young children who want to engage in meaningful conversation about gender diversity, but struggle with knowing how?

They can read my book or the numerous other books for kids on the topic. Librarians will recommend great resources for each age group that were created with child-oriented questions and by LGBTQ+ creators with various life experiences.

The examples, and the illustrations that go with them, that you give in the book point out the arbitrariness of gender roles and expectations so clearly! For example - the dinosaur who points out “When I go extinct, I want to be a toy for BOYS” and the king who declares “I’m the king of colors, and I declare that pink is for girls and blue is for boys!” So much of our world is unnecessarily gendered - like toys and colors. How can people who have children or work with children do the work of debunking these gendered categories?

Many parents are trying their best to deconstruct gender stereotypes, whether by offering a variety of clothes, toys, and activities to their child, by modeling non-stereotypical behaviors, or by hanging out with people with a variety of gender identities. But things will only change when most grownups participate in this deconstruction. In the meantime, conversations with children about everything they hear or witness around them is the only way to help them think for themselves and free themselves from those boundaries.