The Conundrum of Missing Bisexual Representation in Children’s Literature
Alison Clodfelter
Representation of LGBTQ+ characters in children’s books has blossomed over the past 20 or so years, with the publishing of wonderful books like Heather has Two Mommies by Lesléa Newman or more recent publications like When Aidan Became a Brother by Kyle Lukoff.1 Publications started with books representing lesbian or gay couples with a child, tackling the subject of adult sexual orientation and attempting to promote acceptance of diverse family units.1 Now, many books are being published to support children who are transgender and to promote acceptance of transgender identities. This is an amazing thing! Now as much as ever, children, families, and schools need these books so that everyone can see themselves through a normalized lens and thus grow up comfortable with who they truly are on the inside.
Growing up and attending school in the early 2000’s, these books were not yet part of the mainstream in classrooms (and still aren’t in many places). I had NO idea that identifying as lesbian, gay, trans, bisexual, asexual, or queer was even an option or that it was okay and normal. Because of this, I ignored half of my sexual identity growing up, only to have to face myself when I got to college and really relearn who I was. And the journey doesn’t end there. I had a long term boyfriend in high school and most of the way through college, believing thoroughly that I was heterosexual (and I did not even know there was another alternative). In college, I started realizing that I might not be entirely straight, but navigating the waters in relation to my sexual identity… talk about confusion. I had liked a boy for years but now was developing feelings for girls and was realizing that I’d had those feelings all along. Sounds like I had a clearer picture of my sexuality right? Anyone living outside my brain would turn to me and say “Oh yeah, sounds like you’re bisexual.” But I couldn’t accept that because of my terrible internalized biphobia. I jumped right to the label of lesbian, ignoring part of my true spectrum of sexual attraction, but that didn’t feel right either. I then began recognizing myself as queer, feeling more at home with this identity, but deep down I knew I identified most with the bisexual label. My bisexuality was just waiting for me to be ready to accept myself.
This isn’t a problem just for me; internalized (and externalized) biphobia is an epidemic. Bisexual individuals in media have been portrayed as “promiscuous, immature, undecided, treacherous, and cowardly.”2 There are countless stereotypes and misinformation about bisexuality and bisexual behavior. Many believe that people who identify as bisexual are “actually gay,” “just straight and experimenting,” and that bisexuality “doesn’t exist.” Many say that “bisexuals are “confused, can’t make commitments, or have mature relationships.”3 These false stereotypes and beliefs not only take a significant toll on people who identify as bisexual, but they are misleading when it comes to people's understanding of bisexuality. Educating children about various LGBTQ+ identities is critically important, and it becomes more difficult to navigate with the specific stigma of bisexuality.
There are multiple barriers we must acknowledge before we can educate grade school children on bisexuality with ease. First, many assume that young children cannot comprehend sexual identity. In order to address this issue, authors have crafted books featuring diverse family units, where parents are presented as two women or two men. While this representation is worthwhile and important, it is often assumed that the parents are lesbian or gay. The trouble with this assumption is that bisexual identities fade into the back drop.1 Two women or two men are generally assumed to be a lesbian or gay couple, when it is very possible that one or both of them identifies as bisexual. It should not be the sole responsibility of the parent, caregiver, or educator to explain the possibility of bisexuality to a child; rather, there is a need for more explicit bisexual representation in order to help facilitate these discussions naturally.
An additional barrier to discussions about bisexuality with young children is our society's discomfort with the topic of sexuality as a whole.4,5 Many feel that grade school children are too young to understand or develop sexual identity. However, there are always age-appropriate ways to discuss sexuality with children, and many children are indeed aware of their orientation even at a very young age! What is a crush if not a child's expression of their romantic attraction (which is related to the development of sexual identity)?5 Sometimes I think to myself, maybe if I had known bisexuality was an option, I would have been thinking similar things as a young grade schooler. Maybe I would have not been so ignorant to my own sexual identity throughout all of my teenage years and into my early 20s. Children are capable of understanding these topics, and who better to present it than their parents or their teachers, who know and understand them best? Children are so much smarter and more aware than we give them credit for, and they can be introduced to the topic of human sexuality through characters their own age. When we acknowledge early expressions of sexual identity in children (or even characters), then we have the context to educate children on the existence of all LBGTQ+ identities. More specifically, this introduces an opportunity for children who identify as bisexual to learn about why they are crushing on boys, girls, and/or non-binary individuals and for others to accept bisexuals in the same way they accept and learn about monosexual identities.
The final barrier is a simple one… there is very little representation of bisexuality in children’s literature.1 How are families and teachers supposed to educate and debunk the terrible stigmas that tend to cloud the bisexual identity if there are no kid friendly books to help them do it?! The way to change the stigma is through education and if we reach kids with the truth about bisexuality BEFORE they have learned the false, negative stereotypes surrounding the identity, we would be making it easier for future bisexuals to find their identity and love themselves for it. We would be making it easier to foster acceptance of bisexuals within the LGBTQ+ rainbow rather than having to re-educate older individuals who already have preconceived biases. I did not know this was a problem before diving deeper into this topic and then promptly realized the struggles I faced coming to terms with my sexuality were a product of this problem. Future change makers: the work here has just been started! As we speak, I am off to write a picture book about a child who is learning about her bisexual identity in a positive way. Let’s educate more about the B in LGBTQ+ in a positive and friendly way. We got this!
If you are looking for more information on the topics discussed here, see the sources below:
Epstein, B. J. (2014). “The Case of the Missing Bisexuals”: Bisexuality in Books for Young Readers. Journal of Bisexuality, 14(1), 110–125. https://doi.org/10.1080/15299716.2014.872483
Dollimore, J. (1997) “Bisexuality” in Medhurst, A. and S. R. Munt, eds. Lesbian and Gay Studies. London: Cassell, pp. 250-260.
Hutchins, L. (1996) “Bisexuality: Politics and Community”, in Firestein, Beth A., ed. Bisexuality. London: SAGE, pp. 240-259
Understanding Early Sexual Development. Rady Children's Hospital-San Diego. (2014, October). https://www.rchsd.org/health-articles/understanding-early-sexual-development/.
Dowshen, S. (Ed.). (2018, May). Sexual Orientation (for Parents) - Nemours KidsHealth. KidsHealth. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/sexual-orientation.html.
