Interview with Vivek Shraya, Author of “The Boy and the Bindi”
How does The Boy and the Bindi reflect on or draw upon your own experiences?
I think that one of the things that felt important was to show a supportive brown mom. One of the number one questions that I get asked, often in relation to my gender and sexuality, is, “What do your parents think?” It’s kind of bizarre because at this point I’m 39, and on one hand, does it matter what my parents think? I wrote a whole essay about this on Buzzfeed.
But I think at the core of that question is often a racist implication, that person of color (POC) parents aren’t supportive of their POC queer or gender nonconforming children. And I think for me the way that my mom showed acceptance was never by joining PFLAG or anything like that but her acceptance has come in other ways. Like when she goes to India, she makes sure she buys me some jewelry and that is at the core of the book - really wanting to show that supportive brown mom or brown parents.
Can you tell us about what it means for you to wear a bindi?
There’s historical, cultural, and religious significance to a bindi, but to be honest for me, it’s just a really fun accessory. I love the pop of color on the forehead. I think it often brings a whole look together. Subconsciously . . . I realized my mother always matched her bindi to her outfit, and I didn’t realize how I’ve taken that from her. So I think that is something that is likely tied to my mom, even though the book isn’t related to our relationship specifically - there was no instance where my mom lent me her bindi as a child.
How does writing for children differ and how is it similar to writing for older audiences?
I think one of the things I’ve been told often about my writing is that I have the ability to take often dense ideas or topics and make them accessible, and I really appreciate that compliment because I do think it’s something that I try to do. And so in that instance, writing for children isn’t that different from my approach to writing for adults.
Can you tell me what the response to The Boy and the Bindi has been like from children?
[One time when I read] The Boy and the Bindi to elementary school children, we tried to do a Q&A, and doing that with year 2s is an interesting challenge! One of the boys noticed, “Your nails are painted!” And I said, “Yeah - do you think it matters if a boy or a girl has their nails painted, or if anyone has their nails painted?” And he kind of just scratched his head for a second and said, “Nope,” and then started eating his cookie and moved on.
Can you speak to the themes in The Boy and the Bindi?
On the surface, The Boy and the Bindi is hopefully a heartwarming story about a boy’s relationship with his mom, but underneath that is the conversation around gender and what belongs to whom, or what belongs to which gender. And also there’s the layer of culture as well because the bindi represents not just an interest in his mom’s gender but also a way to connect to his broader culture, so there is that intersectional piece there.
And in this genre of children’s literature for gender nonconforming kids, a lot of the [existing] books were about, “Tim likes to wear a dress.” The dress becomes this symbol for femininity, and it seems to be a recurring theme, which is lovely and I can relate to that. But what I’m trying to do with The Boy and the Bindi is dig a little deeper, and interrogate the ways in which there are items in our life that are hyper-gendered like a dress but there are all kinds of smaller, seemingly innocuous items or markers in our lives that are also deeply gendered - and wanting to fight against that. When you think about it, a bindi is a colored sticker and it’s kind of bananas to think that a colored sticker should just belong to girls.
What books - or any form of art - inspired your career as a writer and artist?
To be honest, I came into art through music. I grew up listening to and loving Madonna and Tory Amos and Sheryl Crow - they were sort of like the holy trinity! I come to art as a pop music lover, and I think that’s one of the reasons why so many of my projects have a short form. I think I’m drawn to the children’s book because of the way it’s pretty consistent and contained to 28-30 pages, just like a pop song is contained to 3-4 minutes. There’s something about trying to convey a feeling or idea within a limited structure that to me continually feels inspiring.
How do the many art forms you create intersect with one another?
Increasingly, I see them as less separate practices and more part of a broader, multidisciplinary practice. Learning reflects my creative muscle, and one form inevitably makes me stronger in a different form. A few months ago, I did my first play, How to Fail as a Pop Star, and there were specific skills in working in theater, in terms of audience engagement and also thinking about specific scenes, that felt different than writing a book. But then I find that it’s using some of the same skills, techniques, or perspectives that I’ve now been applying in writing books. Each of them impacts the other.
Are there any children’s books out now - written by yourself or others - that you wish you could have read as a child?
It’s a tough question, and I don’t want to choose my own book but there’s a part of me that wonders what my life would have been like if I had found The Boy and the Bindi at a young age. And there’s a part of me that wonders about if I had found works of art that might have inspired me as a child.
