Interview with Rob Sanders, Author of “Two Grooms on a Cake: The Story of America's First Gay Wedding”
You have written many works of non-fiction for children. How do you choose the topics, people, or times you write about? What specifically led you to telling the story of Jack and Michael?
First, I choose stories that interest me and touch my heart. If I’m not interested in a story, a topic, or a person, then I can’t expect others to be interested either. Next, I consider a story’s appeal. Does it have a universal message or theme? Will it have meaning to most children? Will it fill a hole in the LGBTQIA+ canon of children’s picture books? If I can answer most of those questions in the affirmative, then it’s a story worth pursuing.
I stumbled onto Jack and Michael’s story when doing my original research for Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag. I tucked the idea away in my files and later came back to it. When I read Jack and Michael’s autobiography, The Wedding Heard ‘Round the World: America’s First Gay Marriage, I knew I wanted to write the story for a children’s audience. Finding the way to make the story approachable to kid readers was the next challenge. I eventually overcame that hurdle when I chose to tell two stories—the story of how a cake is made and the story of how a relationship is formed.
What would you say to people who think children are too young to learn about LGBTQ+ history?
I’m often asked that question in a different, more blunt way. People will ask, “Why do you write such controversial books?” My answer is always the same: “I write about history. History is not controversial. What would be controversial is not teaching history.” Children take away from a story what they’re ready to take away from a story. I’ve read Pride to an audience of two- and three-year olds who came with their parents to a story hour. I read the book from cover to cover and then we talked about rainbows and colors and even drew our own rainbows. That’s what that audience was ready for. That same week, I read the book to a group of middle schoolers who asked probing questions about coming out, harassment and discrimination, parents who weren’t accepting, and finding personal pride. That’s what those readers were ready for. Don’t be afraid of history. Let children embrace it, learn from it, and be inspired by it.
What do you enjoy most about visiting schools and/or working with young children?
I love being around kids and their teachers. Schools (and almost all gatherings of children) vibrate with energy. I’m a teacher by heart, training, and experience—so I enjoy watching children make discoveries, gain insights, ask thoughtful questions, and work in community. Teachers and school librarians are a special breed of people and I relate to them and feel at home with them. So, I’m in my element when speaking to a class, making a virtual school visit, or making an in-person visit at a local library.
What do you enjoy most about providing workshops (including for PLP!) and/or working with adults?
Most of my workshops for adults are focused on writing. It’s a pleasure to be with fellow writers as we all travel on a similar journey. Of course, there are those memorable moments—when someone gets that one piece of information that helps them take the next step with their writing, or when one writer realizes that someone else has experienced what they are experiencing, or when a writer begins to see progress in their work (or have it pointed out to them by someone else). I also value those times when I get to work with teachers and librarians and talk about books and making literature accessible and valuable to kid readers. Just like children, adults want to make discoveries, we want to connect, we are inspired and moved by literature, and we have stories and experiences to share.
On your website you talk about reading Little House on the Prairie in third grade. What were some of your other favorite books as a child? What are some of your favorite children’s books now?
Through today’s eyes we know there are some problems with these books, but back in the late 1960s we looked at these books through different lens. I think the reason I loved the Little House series so much was because of Mrs. Henley. She was my third-grade teacher. She read a chapter a day to our class until we had experienced the entire Ingalls-Wilder series. It was the first time I remember a teacher ever reading a novel aloud. Another first was when Mrs. Henley took our class on our first field trip. It was on a Saturday, and we went in cars driven by parents to Laura Ingalls Wilder’s home in Mansfield, Missouri—about 60 miles from our school. All that to say, that how children relate to books and how adults remember books are often rooted in memories and relationships.
Another of my favorite childhood books was Illustrated Minute Biographies: 150 Life Stories of Famous People by Samuel Nisenson and William A. De Witt. I still have my copy of that book and it’s displayed just outside the door to my studio. This book began my love of nonfiction. I would sit for hours flipping through pages and reading the short, one-page biographies of historical figures from around the world. I also loved my family’s set of Collier’s Encyclopedias—but that’s another story for another time.
As far as favorite current books, anyone who loves literature knows that choosing a favorite is like a parent choosing a favorite child. Besides, the list changes every day. So, I think I’ll approach this by sharing books from other LGBTQIA+ authors. I’m happy to recommend some of my new and old favorites—each with its own unique heart and each from a different genre.
PICTURE BOOK
Heather Has Two Mommies by Lesléa Newman and Laura Cornell
If you want to read an LGBTQIA+-themed picture book, why not start with the first one? When Heather Has Two Mommies was released more than 30 years ago, it was groundbreaking and it continues to be heartwarming to this day. Heather is a girl whose favorite things come in twos—two pets, two gingersnaps, two moms. On the first day of school, Heather tells her classmates about her moms and the class discovers the uniqueness of each other’s families.
MIDDLE GRADE
The Mighty Heart of Sunny St. James by Ashley Herring Blake
Sunny is a 12-year-old with a new heart and new plans for the summer—have amazing experiences, find a new best friend, and kiss a boy. Sunny takes readers on one heart-racing adventure after another as she navigates difficult family situations, goes on a first-kiss quest, and learns to surf. When she makes a new best friend, she discovers that maybe it’s not a boy she wants to kiss after all. Three words to describe this book: humor, heart, and hope.
YOUNG ADULT
Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas
The stakes couldn’t begin any higher—a night in a cemetery, summoning spirits, and the mystery of a dead cousin (and that’s just the first three chapters). The main character of Cemetery Boys is a transgender, gay sixteen-year-old boy who is excluded from the rite of passage that would firmly cement him in his close-knit, diverse, East LA community. There’s romance, suspense, and more than a few spine-chilling moments as well as a main character, Yadriel, who will grab your heart and not let it go.
GRAPHIC NOVEL
Flamer by Mike Curato
Growing up in the 60s and 70s I never saw a character like me in a book. I finally found that character in Flamer. If you ever wondered what it’s like to be queer, closeted, chubby, and bullied—or if you experienced it yourself—then you need to meet Aiden Navarro. If you remember a first crush who broke your heart and crushed your spirit or felt you couldn’t go on until you found out you could, then you might just see yourself in the pages of this book, too.
NONFICTION
Gay & Lesbian History for Kids: The Century-Long Struggle for LGBT Rights by Jerome Pohlen
I don’t know about you, but I didn’t grow up learning LGBTQIA+ history. Everything I’ve discovered, I’ve learned on my own as an adult. It’s time for that to change. This book can help kid readers (and adults) learn that LGBTQIA+ history is part of American and world history. Our stories aren’t controversial, but not teaching history sure is. This book will give you an introduction to the LGBTQIA community’s heart—our history.
