Interview with Lindz Amer, Author of “Hooray for She, He, Ze, and They!”

You began your web series, Queer Kid Stuff, in 2016. What was that process like? How did people react to it? How has it changed over time?

So I had the idea for QKS when I was living abroad in the UK for grad school. It was probably about a year later that I shot the pilot with a few friends after I had moved back to New York. And it really took off from there. I put it on YouTube and posted it on facebook and friends started sharing it, then acquaintances, then strangers and HuffPo picked it up and it kind of snowballed from there. The series has always been contentious. There are people out there who absolutely love it, and there are also a lot of people who hate it. I think the series really hits on something tender in people that some might not be ready to face in themselves. I ended the series in 2019 for many reasons and quite a lot of things have changed since then! In the years since, Teddy and I have been hitting the road doing a live performance version of content from the series from the beloved songs to original storytelling. But right now we're working on plans to relaunch the webseries in June of 2025 after a successful crowdfunding campaign so I'm excited to develop a new version of the show that can really speak to what's going on today.

You talk to children about topics of gender, orientation, activism, Pride…all important topics that adults sometimes think are too complicated for young children. But you never talk “down” to children, and they seem to understand! How do you find the balance, when talking to children about all these big, important topics, between using real-world vocabulary and contexts, and speaking to them in a child-friendly, digestible way?

For me, it's all about getting down on a child's level and really looking up at the world through their eyes. What are concepts, objects, people that are familiar to them and how can I use those tools to explain something more complex. I love using the example of the Stonewall story. When I first approached this crucial moment of LGBTQ+ history and wanted to talk about it with kids, I decided to focus not on the violence of that event but on the people. The point in telling that story is not to scare people, it's to make visible the origin of a movement. Because really when you look at it, it's a story of friendship and community coming together to fight against injustice and unfairness. Kids just need to understand fairness and friendship in order to understand the building blocks of that story. When it comes down to it, it's about good storytelling.

You talk honestly with young children, not just about these topics in general, but even about your own journey! Can you tell us what it felt like to come out as questioning your gender and to come out as nonbinary on Queer Kid Stuff? How did viewers support you?

I'm so glad you asked about this. It's one of my favorite things that came out of doing the series at the time. I wrote, essentially, a three-episode coming out arc for myself. It's something I'm really proud of, especially now looking back at my gender journey. I'm quite a bit farther along now in my acceptance of myself as a trans nonbinary person, but at the time it was very new and kind of scary. It's pretty incredible that it's what was happening for me at the time and that I could model coming out like that to folks watching the show. I'm honestly not too sure I can remember what the viewer support was like. I honestly think those episodes get glossed over since they're a bit farther into the series and they're in between a bunch of episodes, but I really recommend them. I'm really proud of that work!

If it’s not too personal, can you tell us about a moment in your life when hearing the right pronouns felt, to use an example from the book, “Like pulling on your favorite sweater”?

Oh my gosh, what a good question. Honestly every time? Because the funny thing about pronouns is that most people don't use your own pronouns very often when they're actually around you. So when I'm there and someone uses my pronouns correctly, it's such a good feeling. Especially when it's a stranger like a barista. When it's mundane and unexpected, because I'm pretty much expecting to get misgendered by everyone when I'm out and about. But occasionally, strangers will gender me correctly and it's awesome.

Prior to writing Hooray for He, She, Ze, and They, you wrote a book for parents of queer children. How did the experience of writing a book for adults lend itself to writing a book for children? Or if it didn’t, how was your process different?

It's meant for all parents whether they're parenting queer/trans kiddos or not! I really am primarily a children's writer and performer. Writing for adults has not always come second nature for me so it was quite a task to write the parenting book. But they really do come hand in hand. There's a pop out box in the parenting book that is a direct line to the picture book and I really hope parents can think of the book as a tool that can do some of the work of the parenting book for them. Picture books and non-fiction for adults are just such different mediums so the processes were completely different, mostly because of length. But, here's a fun fact, the picture book actually came first! I wrote the first version of the picture book manuscript years before I did the TED Talk that eventually turned into the parenting book. Funny how time works!