Conversation with Alyssa Antoci
Amanda Leonard
Alyssa Antoci wrote The Purple Marble, a story about friendship, kindness, and anti-bullying, at just eight years old. When we asked her a few questions, here’s what she had to say:
Question: After your experience being bullied in elementary school, you decided to write The Purple Marble to help other kids going through the same thing. How did you determine that writing a picture book was the best way for you to get your message across?
Answer: After being bullied in elementary school at ages seven and eight and deciding to write a book, I knew it had to have illustrations. Most of the books I was reading at that age had illustrations, and I was very fortunate that my art teacher volunteered to do the illustrations. We got to work very closely together on it. I believe there are two particular moments when I realized the importance of the illustrations in portraying my story and the emotions the characters felt. The first moment was when the final drawings were submitted by the illustrator. The powerful depiction of the character’s emotions were so clear in her illustrations. She showed all of the different emotions, including sadness, loneliness, anger, anguish, betrayal, compassion, guilt, frustration, fear, relief, and others that came into play. The second defining moment was when I spoke about my book to the kindergarteners and first graders. I didn’t even have to read the book and as I flipped through the pages paraphrasing, the young students could relate to the story and characters just by just looking at the illustrations. “Pictures can say a thousand words.”
Q: In The Purple Marble, Max is bullied for one of his identities: his love of making and eating fun and fancy pizzas. Do you have any advice for kids who are struggling to remain true to themselves while being bullied for one of their identities?
A: The first piece of advice I give kids who are struggling with bullying is to inform them that they are not alone. Many kids suffer in silence and think they are the only ones going through it. When I discuss my book and subject matter, the first thing I do is identify what bullying is and what it looks like. Once we are clear on that, I ask the kids to raise their hand if they feel they have been a target of bullying. I am always the first to have my hand up and that makes them feel more comfortable raising theirs. It seems the lower grades are very open about sharing and admitting this information. Second, I tell them the importance of finding a trusted adult to talk to. Then we discuss what trusted adults can look like. Kids at that age are trying to figure out who they are and how they fit into their school community and friend groups. I advise them to stay true to who they are and find friends that bring out the best in them and accept them for who they are. I also let them know that sometimes, kids don’t even know they are being mean, so informing them can make them aware. I also discuss the importance of not taking it personally, and that usually the bully is suffering as well. That is easier said than done! I explain how bullies have usually been bullied themselves. I try to get the kids to recognize which role they might play in the situation of the bully, the bullied, and the bystander. One of my biggest and most challenging, but also most engaging, topics I work on with kids is how to stick up for themselves and what that looks like. We do a lot of role playing, which helps them understand, see, and feel all of the moving parts. Then, we come up with one rehearsed or memorized line that can help. I try to help them become aware that there will always be a bully looking for a target and how to stand up for themself so the bully moves on. It’s a slippery slope, but after all the letters I have received from teachers, parents, and students, I feel I have helped out some. I hope that after I left the classrooms, the teachers would continue to educate the students about empathy, compassion, and tolerance, as well as what being a friend looks like. However, I also felt it was just as important to teach what being a bully and bystander look like. I hope my message about being kind, having more tolerance for others, gaining a more powerful confident stance and voice, and learning about true friendships are some of the lessons that kids will take away from reading my book The Purple Marble.
Q: In the book, you also talk about the importance of turning to a parent, teacher, or trusted adult if you or a friend is being bullied. How can adults be strong allies and advocates for children dealing with bullying?
A: Adults play the biggest role in being an advocate and putting an end to bullying. This is the hardest place to reach though because most of the bullying starts in the home and children learn to bully or be the victim of bullying there. That is where learned behavior about bullying begins. Parents, teachers, and all adults need to be more aware of their behavior and recognize when children are being harassed or bullied. There are signs, but sometimes they are ignored or silenced. I have seen teachers ignore the signs of bullying and dismiss it as something they don’t want to get involved in. Parents and teachers need to have more open conversations about this topic and parents need to ask their children about their day and really listen to clues. The only way my mom knew I was being bullied is because she asked a lot of questions and cared. Additionally, there should be mandated education about what compassion, tolerance, and empathy look like. A lot of younger kids don’t have wonderful examples in their home life, so I feel it is part of schools’ responsibility to teach this to their students. This topic matter is just as important, if not MORE than other subjects and should be added to the curriculum.
Q: What was it like having your book turned into a one-act play?
A: I was so excited and couldn’t believe it when I was told that my book would be turned into a one act musical. I was able to work and collaborate with the playwright to make sure he was staying true to my book. I felt he understood my book from our first meeting, as he too had been bullied when he was younger. However, the day I was invited to see a rehearsal of the musical in person was the most exciting day of this whole process. I was so shocked and thrilled at how amazing his portrayal of my book was, as well as the music and the acting. He had done the most incredible job capturing every aspect of my book and characters. I had also traveled around with the musical to schools and witnessed the students’ and adults’ emotional reactions during and after the musical. I understood that almost every student and person watching the musical could identify with the pain that each of the characters were going through. The music and lyrics were so powerful and played such a key role in telling the story. I think this musical should be in every school along with my book as this message is gravely needed. If we could reach the younger students in younger grades before they hit high school, we might be able to save a lot of kids from this suffering.
Q: Alongside the book, you also decided to start a non-profit organization called Strength Behind Stars. Can you talk about why you started the organization and the ways in which you and your book have positively impacted elementary school students and classrooms?
A: My mom and I had started our nonprofit after a young girl in our area died by suicide after being bullied. We knew her aunt and when she told us the story, we were so horrified by it we decided we needed to reach larger audiences and help more. I wanted to make sure every elementary school had my book The Purple Marble. We decided to start raising money and I decided to be homeschooled for a year so that I could travel to schools to talk about by book.
Q: The Purple Marble was published when you were 11 years old, and now you’re 17 and in high school. Do you have any other exciting projects on the horizon?
A: I’m a senior now and graduating high school this week. I do not have a lot of time in my schedule to speak to classrooms anymore. However, we are still working on getting The Purple Marble out to as many schools and kids as possible. Before Covid, we were invited to bring my book into every LAUSD elementary school. I hope that still happens. We also continue to donate clothes and do other acts of kindness for other organizations and people. I’m so excited to go to college and start the next chapter of my life.
