Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Using Picture Books to Promote Positive Sexuality Education
Alyson Bull
Flash back to middle school when the topics of puberty and sexual reproduction were introduced. What messages did you receive? Do you remember feeling empowered? For many people, sexuality education is uncomfortable, incomplete, or leaves them feeling left out of the conversation. We can work to change that for our children by using picture books as a tool to expand our children’s understanding of sexuality and promote positive sexual development.
As an Our Whole Lives sexuality educator, I emphasize the program’s philosophy that sexuality education, in addition to sexual reproduction, health, and puberty, also includes: identity (who I am and who I like), intimacy (showing affection and healthy relationships), sensuality (how my body feels) and sexualization (how sexuality and power are used to influence or harm). Children begin learning messages about these aspects of sexuality from the moment they come into the world and continue to soak them in as they grow. According to Cordelia Fine’s book Delusions of Gender, children already have firm ideas about gender roles and stereotypes by the time they are three years old. If our children are learning about sexuality from an early age, it is imperative to be intentional about the messages they hear and see.
Reading board books and picture books representing many kinds of people, families, and genders is an easy way to intentionally introduce children to concepts of identity and intimacy; two critical parts of sexuality education. Books such as, My Two Moms and Me by Michael Joosten or Daddy, Dada, and Me by Lesléa Newman demonstrate healthy intimacy between parents and children. For all children, it is empowering to read about many kinds of families doing everyday activities and showing affection in healthy ways. Julián Is a Mermaid by Jessica Love, A Fire Engine for Ruthie by Lesléa Newman, and Jacob’s New Dress, by Ian Hoffman and Sarah Hoffman are stories about children exploring their identity with supportive and loving adult characters. These stories can also help children develop their own sense of who they are and what they like.
Reading picture books with older children, teens, and even adults, helps people build the vocabulary needed to discuss sexuality meaningfully. Both nonfiction and fiction can be used to provide examples of inclusive language. What Makes a Baby by Cory Silverburg models how to explain where babies come from in a way that values all birth stories and all families. It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity by Theresa Thorn and Noah Grigni or Who Are You?: The Kid’s Guide to Gender Identity by Brook Pessin-Whedbe can be helpful when discussing gender identity. These books can provide a launching point for discussion as people think about their own assumptions about reproduction, gender, and sexuality while using language that is respectful and inclusive.
Picture books can be an effective tool to enhance any lesson about sexuality. Recently, I used picture books in my 6th grade classroom to address a situation where a student was publicly misgendered by an adult. For me, using picture books was the easiest way to deepen this conversation because they would quickly address the content, introduce the vocabulary, and elicit empathy. Small groups of students each read a different picture book and then shared a brief synopsis and the messages within the book. From these conversations, students decided to take action by writing an email to the performer asking him to use more inclusive language in the future. The whole lesson lasted about twenty minutes, but the impact of that time was significant. This is the power of picture books.
Imagine that instead of one lesson about sexual reproduction and puberty, our children have many opportunities to read, explore, and discuss topics of sexuality with their caregivers and teachers throughout childhood and adolescence. Reading picture books with our children is an effective way to promote positive sexual development and encourage healthy relationships.
Alyson Bull is a 6th grade teacher and a trained Our Whole Lives sexuality educator. She lives on a small farm in Western MA with her wife and three children.
Our Whole Lives is a lifespan, secular sexuality curriculum designed in collaboration between the Unitarian Universalist Association and the United Church of Christ. You can find more information on their websites https://www.uua.org/re/owl or https://www.uccresources.com/products/our-whole-lives-curriculum?variant=15492555571263
